Really now that I have written the title to this post, I cant help but sing Blue Monday by New Order. “Tell me how does it feel…to treat me like you do” Maybe I should add the song to my CRPS Soundtrack posts.
I’m wanting to share an article posted on a great site called But You Don’t Look Sick.com But first I want to share why it meant so much to me.
We all have that person in our life that just dosn’t quite get it. I have a friend that understands that I’m sick, but at the same time not really. I suck it up while we are spending time together and try not to mention my pain. I try to keep up and she cant understand that at some point in the day I’m not going to be able to do any more. She dosn’t get why I’ve gone quiet, withdrawn, I just don’t want to sing along to the songs that are playing. I just want to rest. I’m done but its still early. Then because I don’t say anything about how Im feeling I suddenly hear the comment “you should go back to work, you have been fine this weekend” or “Why are you in pain still, you had your infusion the other week?’ My heart sinks, I’m too tired to cry. How come they dont understand?
How can they. End of the day I said nothing. Sure I might have looked down and beaten, But I was the one who hid the truth. But surely they can tell. Other friends can. Three days away with my second family and they saw my presence change when my pain went away. They got it! Mum can tell cause I frown and I get a little skin crease between my eyebrows. But not everyone will understand. It just hurts when you thought they would. I spoke to my psychologist today about it and to be honest I cant remember what she said to me. I was so upset just telling her about this problem. I felt like I was betraying my friend or dobbing her in. I know she isn’t trying to hurt me. She just cant understand because she has never been through this and I hope she never does.
Then as if the universe answered me, a friend posted an article on a facebook page that helped me understand the other side and how I could help her understand.
THE SPOON THEORY!
The link above is the article that helped me work through my problems and I hope it can do the same for you if its something you need. It works on the theory that a healthy person has unlimited energy and that energy is measured in spoons. People with chronic illness only have a limited number of spoons and each activity they do costs a spoon. If the sick person runs out of spoons they can borrow from the next days total and leave them self short for tomorrow, running on a more limited number of spoons. Or they can crash in pain unable to continue the day, unable to do the smallest tasks like doing the dishes, talking on the phone. They are just all out of spoons.
This article really is worth the read if you still have any spoons left. Im on my last one typing this.
Hope your all well. xx