Life with CRPS: Something to look forwards to!

I just had a bit of a profound thought and figured it would be worth sharing.

Life with CRPS can feel pointless at times and I remember in the early days feeling so scared and thinking my life was over, pointless and I only saw a future of pain. Everything I enjoyed doing was taken from me and I felt I had nothing left. I’m sure that’s a feeling that anyone with CRPS can identify with.

So I was just thinking about how I have developed a love of indoor plants as a new hobby and when I am laying in bed during the night I often look online and plan the plants I want to buy. Each fortnight when I get paid I get excited if I can afford to buy a plant or I find a great buy from a private seller and get a propagated cutting for $10. I live very cheaply and my one extravagance is a plant. I was worried I was a little obsessive and I do get some negative comments. But I realised why it’s become so important to me…

I need something to look forwards to!

It’s simple really. Most people have a sport, concerts or just going out on the weekends. but I don’t. I am not working and am struggling to find work, let alone an interview. I am single and have a chronic illness (attractive) and that may never change. And I am 36 and any chance of my having kids is getting less and less. So my future could be lonely if I don’t do something. But having my plants makes me happy and in a life that once seemed pointless, that’s really important.

My Heart Leaved Philodendrons ❤️

It’s no different to someone needing their weekly game of soccer to unwind from their shitty job. My “job” is shitty to. So I deserve to have something to look forwards to.

So… I am not going to feel guilty or embarrassed that I am buying more plants. I won’t be sneaking any more plants past my housemates and hiding them incase they think bad of me. They don’t, but it’s ingrained in me anyway. I won’t accept hearing “not more plants” again or someone rolling their eyes because I’m off to pick up a plant. At least I am going out and having an interaction with someone. Yeah, I will be sore and exhausted after. But it’s better than staying home sore and exhausted anyway.

My Philodendron Micans. Love those velvet leaves.

This could be any hobby, not just plants. It could be clothes, model trains, Star Wars memorabilia. It doesn’t matter. The main thing is that we have something to look forwards to.

I am now meeting other growers, I’m leaving the house to go to the plant shop, I am even planning a plant swap event, which I never would have done before. Putting on events is a connection to my old life. It’s better than sitting at home depressed.

My Manjula Pothos.

Also I could be doing drugs or gambling the little money I have. After all, not all that long ago my life had no point. It would have been easy to give up. So as long as my bills are paid and I have food on the table, who gives a crap if I come home with another plant. It makes me happy and I deserve to be happy.

So anyone that criticizes my plant Colection can shove it. Sure I might only talk about my plants, but maybe they should appreciate that their life hasn’t been reduced to only having that to be excited about. Why belittle the one thing I have?

Of course it’s not my only hobby now, but it’s the most prominent at the moment.

I’m so glad I am not that same scared person I was a few years ago. I’m glad I now have things to look forward to. It’s so important and not talked about enough in our community.

You can see my plants on my other blog or Instagram

I hope you’re feeling well. Xx

What are your things to look forwards to?

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Insomnia: We are NOT friends!

Simply put, Insomnia sucks!

That statement alone could be all I write here and this post would be complete. But I feel like talking about it a bit so here goes.

For me I either have Insomnia or a I sleep non stop. I’ve had a few stints where I slept normally and it was lovely. Right now its 5am and I have been awake since 3am so really the 3 hours of sleep I’ve had is a good night for me. My longest period of no sleep was 6 days. I was a mess at the end of it. After 3 days it starts to mess with your head a bit and by 6 you feel insanity creep in and your a walking zombie.

I have read all the literature on how to get to sleep and create a sleep positive environment and for me it doesn’t work. Simply by laying there trying to sleep, I will not fall asleep. I get frustrated too easily and it just keeps me awake longer and longer. It just doesn’t work for me, because damn Insomnia keeps getting in the way. I have found that if I am going to sleep then my best chance is to distract my self and the insomnia until I get drowsy and drop off to sleep. To do this I might read a book or on my phone. Watching a movie or Netflix is great as well. These are my go to distractions because I can just drop off when I need to without my brain/insomnia realising what’s happening because its too busy relaxing to a few episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. (One of the best show’s ever!) I have to say that even writing this is relaxing me enough to make me drowsy and I mean that in a good way. I may get a little nap in before getting up. But I better stop talking about it in case good ole insomnia realises what’s going on.

I do worry about what this lack of sleep is doing to me long term. I always see articles about what lack of sleep can do to your health and I worry it gets in the road of the long life I had planned. Even now I am noticing the effect it has son the way I look. I have permanent darkness under my eyes and I am finding that I need heavier makeup to hide it when I don’t want to look haggard. I am even finding a few grey hairs creeping in and I put it down to being worn out. So it this is happening on the outside then I worry about the inside. Perhaps this is something I need to work on improving.

Anyway, Mini rant over. In short I wish that insomnia would take its self off somewhere else and I might try for a little more sleep.

Sleep well people. 🙂 Thanks for reading.

 

MEOW: My cat is the best medicine

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Ok, sure her purring and weight isn’t ideal on a bad day where even my clothing can hurt my poor body, But I love my little girl and the comfort that she gives me is worth that extra bit of discomfort. I’m in pain anyway!  On a not so bad day, I feel blessed that I am “worthy” of her cuddles. Yeah, any one with a cat knows what I mean by that! On nights when I’m flaring Molly will come to bed with me or climb my window screen until I hobble out of bed to let her in. She has taken to sleeping next to me rather than on me since I’ve developed CRPS. On a bad day she sticks by me and has taken to leading me to the couch and waiting for me to sit before lightly climbing on. She seems to know before I do that I need to rest. Although, I do think she loves having me there to nurse her all night long.

IN THE MEDIA: Chronic Pain, 7.30 South Australia

“It is a common condition, patients suffer from it, doctors treat it but Medicare doesn’t acknowledge it. It’s chronic pain. But what causes it and why do traditional drugs seem to have little effect?”

pain 730

This is the introduction to a news story that was shown on our state edition of the Current Affairs program 7.40. Its really exciting that this show has done a few stories on Chronic Pain already this year and although not exactly about CRPS, It still relates back to the treatments and the health system that I and many other Australians rely on.

I posted about the first story here. Australia’s Pain Epidemic

This story by Mike Sexton and shown on 7.30 South Australia, on Fri, 21 Feb, 2014.  Duration: 6min 13sec. It starts as stated above and then leads into some horrifying, yet unsurprising statistics that Medicare (Australia) has found that up to 5% of patients in Gp’s clinics are seeking relief from Chronic Pain. It again mentioned that most Australian’s suffering from Chronic Pain wait 2-3 years for a placement in a pain treatment facility. This leads to Gp’s prescribing more and more opioid pain Medications and leads to dependency. Clearly there is a cycle here that must be broken.  I’m hoping that the Website will post a manuscript to this story as it has done in the past so that I can post it.

One exciting thing bit of information that I learnt from the story is of a local research project happening right here in South Australia at the Bionomics Facilities in Hindmarsh, is a focus on Ion channels and their role in Chronic Pain. The story went on to report of an investment of 170 million dollars (Aust)  being made into this study by Merck & Co. That is pretty exciting really. I went onto the Bionomics Website and found the following:

“Bionomics has entered into a collaboration with Merck & Co. to develop a novel oral treatment for chronic pain. Chronic pain is a severely debilitating condition with a large unmet medical need. Current analgesic medications which include anti-epileptics, anti-arrhythmics, opioids, NSAID’s and anti-depressants, are either ineffective, associated with a range of dose limiting side effects or have the potential for abuse and addiction. Our novel treatment which is expected to deliver greater efficacy and safety than existing pain medications is directed towards an undisclosed target that has been strongly linked to chronic pain in humans.”

www.bionomics.com.au/research-development/pipeline/cns-central-nervous-system

Well Im off to investigate further and see what else I can learn about this trial and even if I can participate in any way. 🙂

 

10 Ways To Live Well Even With Chronic Illness

10 Ways To Live Well Even With Chronic Illness.

This is a must share! Part of managing CRPS is managing your life and working out how to live around CRPS.

via 10 Ways To Live Well Even With Chronic Illness.

Some Fun With Pain Charts!

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Pain is no fun! Clearly, It really hurts!

How much more fun is it when you compare your pain to Lego?

I found this pain chart recently and thought it was the perfect tool to make things just that little bit more cheerful. I believe we have the option to make the most of a situation or to just be miserable about things for the sake of it. But being miserable kind of sucks so who wants to do that!  Adding a little cheer to these situations eases the misery and is by far the better option.

Today my pain is so far sitting at a 6/10. My leg is bloody sore and getting worse, but I’m choosing to ignore it by distracting my self with fun things like this chart. I’m hoping to get my pain under control so I can go out and play in my veggie garden for a while. Sunds borring? two words: Fresh Strawberries! lol. That’s what I look forward to each day, even if its just a little wander around admiring how things are growing.  I hope you also have something to motivate you each day. xxx

RSD on The Doctors. OMG we are in the media at the moment!

http://www.thedoctorstv.com/videolib/init/9967

The Doctors 10/2013
Facebook has been a buzz with the 3 part story about this woman with a severe case of RSD and is full of great info one what RSD is and what it does to us. It also looks at the woman’s story on living with the disease and advice given to her on the diet that she needs to assist her body lower inflammation.
The first part of this film is what all of our family and friends need to see to get whats wrong with us. Im just trying to pin a few of them down. lol. I posted it of Facebook and as suspected most people ignored it, but there was a few that watched it and in come the sympathy and horrified comments. lol. No my limbs do not look like that!Im having trouble loading the footage onto the post but ill work on getting it there, but for now on the above link is to the story on the website for the show